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Writer's pictureZainab

& so it began…

Updated: Mar 16, 2021

World’s apart yet under one roof

You see black, whilst I see white

Yet words left unspoken are best kept inside

And thoughts unwrapped, best kept hidden.

I think a lot. Its what we all do. We don’t usually do it ‘consciously’ but we spend time and thought on ‘thoughts.’ You know when you just sit down and try to do something but then you get caught up with a thought, which leads you to another thought and then it leads you to your endless to-do list but then you forget that first ever, initial thought which was top of your to-do list but has flown right out your mind so you sit there rewind all the thoughts you had to remember your first thought and once you remember, you start to question whether its even that important and whether you’re still going to go on and do it.

That’s pretty much how we spend our own lives. We allow ourselves to grow. To rub against hard-core, rocky memories, sway with the waves of happiness, dance to the music of our hearts. We treasure the moments dearest to our hearts and create many more on the way as we grow into our white days and once we reach our last destination, we sit and think back to our first ever moments. It really is true then, ‘I guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning.’

Now this might sound really crazy but the first ever time I heard that ‘quote,’ if you like, was from John Smith played by Brad Pitt in one of my all-time favourite movies, Mr. & Mrs. Smith. He said it with such a touch. And although it was a fictional story (and he did end up making up with Angelina Jolie after they wrecked that beautiful house of theirs), it plays a role in our lives.

We are breathing but sometimes whilst forgetting to live. We concentrate on the miniature things forgetting about the bigger picture of tomorrow or what is to come or the consequences of our actions. Or we could do the total opposite and focus on the big picture, my 10-year career path and my future role in this massive company, ignoring the building blocks that will eventually lead us to our end goal. Yet at our destination we will look back and think about how we first got here. What it took and how far we have come.

Its kind of like any relationship we will ever start in our lives. Whether it’d be friendship, motherhood, love – in some cases we may not reach the end, hopefully – but somewhere along the way we will reminisce the first ever time we laid our eyes upon each other; the time we shared a smile; the time we felt each others presence. So with friendship, which could end for various reasons and possibly some we may be grateful for, others we may regret, we will eventually think back to the first time we spoke, the first giggles we shared, the first ever presents we exchanged. We will think about the beginning. We may well compare our present to the beginning and want those moments back or we could continue creating more. With motherhood, it’s only for our mums to remember the first ever time they laid eyes on us and stroked our cheeks and probably looked at us and thought ‘after those long nine months of kicking and five draining hours of labour, you’re finally here.’ And when we grow up we’ll probably sit opposite our mums with a smile that extends across our face whilst we ask silly questions like ‘And then what did I do, did I cry a lot, what time was I born, what colour did I first wear, did I like you or dad more.’ And many, many more of those. With love relationships, this is not to say that they should be exclusive to partners only but I think you’ve got the gist of what I am saying by now so I’ll leave you to your own imagination with this one.

Yes – just a bunch of random thoughts put together on one page to free the mind. Hopefully more of these soon.

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